Mood:
downNow Playing: 1.FM - Otto's Classical Musick
Topic: My Writing Life
In the writing life, it is an on-going, never-ending battle with things that change. They do not change from necessity nearly as often as I might prefer. Things change because of choice, or convenience, or perspective even, but not from necessity--always.
A recent hospitalization has created all manner of change in my life in general, and in my writing life in particular. I have experienced so many drastic changes in so many areas of my life in these past weeks that I am awash, overwhelmed, and stupified. A reality roller-coaster has beset my peace, and I am near helpless. I am not certain how to catelogue and deal with all that has changed, and in so short a time.
I long-ago learned that, for me at least, writing can be my strongest method of untangling such Celtic Knots as these. One of the advantages of being a writer is the amazing amount of really good writing "material" one can discover in virtually any circumstance. "If it's not writing, it's research!" Such a truth has never been visited upon a poor and unsuspecting lad as I.
I have some nine (9) writing Blogs/Sites that consume a majority of my "Not-For-Profit" (personal) writing, and that just seems a tad compulsive to me. And, to be honest about it, I usually cheat in my entries. I try to write one good entry daily. What usually happens is that it is just so damned good I want to publish it to every site! (Okay, you can take that as a gentle dose of "Editorial License" if you desire--although why you would desire completely eludes me.) Oh, I see. You are going for that whole "too damned lazy to be original AND good nine times every day" angle, huh. Well, if that's where you wish to go, then have a nice trip! Please send some picture postcards, and DO enjoy the vacation, won't ya?
There just aren't too many jobs on the planet that require such gargantuan effort. Interestingly enough, on a couple of my Blogs/Sites, a particular writing may have a couple hundred comments, while the same entry, on a much more public site (MSN Spaces, or Yahoo 360, for instance) may get no comments or views whatsoever. But then, that is one of the peculularities of the writing life. It seems as if this particular marketing/therapy ploy is like to take a straight razor to cut a microscopic slice from the Universe. But, I am nothing if not persistent.
Dare I follow the recommendations of my writing mentors, and my writing friends, and begin yet another Blog at my now-primary writing site, solely for the purpose of detailing this newest journey through Cancer, malignancy, and associated horrors? The diseases which have come to visit already have a life of their own, to be sure. But, as I am a prolific writer, I can always just link this Blog along with all the others, for those few of you who follow this little Blog--or not. And, that is one of the big changes in my life of late.
There is nothing quite so scarey as a writer who pens words with no audience. The usual goal of a writer is to get their words viewed by as many people who are willing to shell out the bucks to pay for the privilege! Yet, this writing would be the most personal and intimate Journal of them all. There is no doubt that it would follow the first rule of writing: "Write about what you know!"
Writing about horrid events, and terrible feelings is a very difficult thing to do honestly. Part of the writing process is the carefully and accurate recording of facts. In the best writing, ALL facts are chronicled. That would necessarily include the good things, the victories, and the good days as well, wouldn't it? It would be nice to measure the progress along this journey, I think. I haver a terribly compulsive nature about writing. I very often will go back (as I did tonight with this very Blog, in fact!) and read each and every entry and comment. I do this to re-evaluate the work. I usually am satisfied with the work. I seldom edit work I post. Sometimes, even the mistakes I make in writing a post can be painfully instructive to me as a writing analysis of life, or the work, or the environment, or the world I find myself living in at the moment.
As a completely unrelated aside:
I have learned an amazing truth tonight. I spent a good portion of my life as a classical keyboard performer. As I listen to some pretty incredible classical (Baroque) music while writing this entry, I am discovering that my typing speed increases dramatically with the fast stuff, and slows down noticably with the andante stuff! Now, how is that for "tapes" we learn by, I ask you?
Sometimes, in the writing life, an author must come face-to-face with some pretty harsh realities, translate them accurately enough to be understood and felt by the reader, yet still honestly relate the facts and the attendant emotional, financial, spiritual, physical, and health aspects. Who wants to re-live such things? And, even more importantly, who in their right mind would EVER want to read about them?
Sometimes, change compels us to do those things that we might never have ever pondered, wondered, or considered. The writer takes those things, puts them into the soup, and serves them up at the proper temperature for the widest possible consumption by the largest possible audience who will pay the highest possible price for them.
Sometimes, we are compelled to write things that we hope no person will ever read, simply because they are personal, and private. They contain our worst. If not written with not only clarity of such degree that the words cannot possibly be misunderstood, but also with the brutal honesty of Supreme Court testimony, the effort is a fool's errand. I am not sure I have both requirements, but I am going to give it a shot anyway. It will possibly be another chore that I cannot give myself fully. But, being me, I will give it the valiant attempt, and see how it goes.
Sometimes, that's just the way it is in the writing life.
